Teaching the Teacher (Part 2)

Release Card and Burst Card and the 3G’s

There are also those who justify their actions to be generally accepted norms. They say it is normal for example to curse because freedom of expression is inherent to everybody. There goes again the freedom that often people put a misplaced emphasis on – freedom of expression. Some would say that we just need to let out and so they would often use the “burst card” or the “stress card” or however they call it (card refers to excuses). They so often use these cards to acknowledge their being humans and as such they need to release. Allow me to differentiate then release card from the burst card. I coined these two terms to represent two kinds of situations in which a person might find himself to have a sudden urge to say what we generally say as bad words.

Releasing is different from bursting. When we release, we are aware of what is going on inside us. It means that if an unfavorable situation happened and we want to say something about it, we acknowledge first its effect on us and then our thought processes our feelings and/ or actions by validating it in relation to such situation. Our thought validates our feelings and/ or actions by analyzing whether it is an appropriate emotional or bodily response or a mere go-with-the-flow response. (However, we should note the protective nature of our thoughts and that we might more often lean in bias towards appropriate to defend our responses.) A simple guideline to identify whether our response is appropriate is if we feel good about it and we spend less time rationalizing about our action because our inner compass tells us that we did the right thing. Go-with-the-flow response, however, is a cover I have observed people use to blend in with the current flow of conversation for example. Some go-with-the-flow people I’ve observed are the ones who incessantly agree with whatever is being said during the conversation even if the opinions expressed are not appropriate. (I usually observe this in parties where people try to not be left out with the so-called happenings. This occurrence is also observable when some co-workers get together to talk about anything they can express their opinions about.) They lose their mental faculties in the process of going with the flow so they blind themselves of what is going on so that they would be in with the group. Most of the times the go-with-the-flow people deny to recognize this kind of pattern. Mostly, it is because their thought processes the response with a certain kind of bias due to our inherent pro-self nature. These people would claim that it is normal to express themselves. I agree that is common but whether it is normal or not, that is the question. Normal means inherent to your psychology, biology, and sociology. Common, on the other hand, means that it is prevalently observable. Most oftentimes when these people say normal, what they actually mean is common. They think that since it is common, it is normal. Well, that is not always the case. This would lead us back to the two cards – the release card and the burst card. As I have explained earlier, we are entitled to a release card when we are aware of how our thought processes our responses. To sum it all up, we often use the burst card to defend our go-with-the-flow responses. When we release, we are still aware of our feelings. Bursting, on the other hand, is when our movements have become faster than our thoughts.

It’s not easy really to identify when we are releasing or when are bursting. Often, we will have done something first before our thoughts processes it, before our thoughts can identify whether our words or actions fall under the 3G’s (gossiping, griping, and groaning). As a teacher, you and I have the utmost responsibility to think before we speak or before we do.

To teach thyself is the hardest thing to do. But I believe that it is only the hardest if we refuse to be taught; if we refuse to acknowledge common (not normal) patterns that taint our character and integrity. So often, we defend ourselves because we believe its normal, but it is not really. Yes it is common, but it is not necessarily normal. As teachers, we speak most of the time to our students. Each word we say, each act we do, we can never pull back. What normal is how we are created in the holy image because that is what our true nature is – divine.

Teaching the Teacher (Part 1)

The hardest person to teach is thyself.  Oftentimes, we know the right thing to do.  We try our best to do them.  But sometimes, we just slip.  We lose our balance.  No single being is an exception.  It takes a great deal of effort to get back on track and maintain the inner peace that we need to function properly – inner peace of mind, and inner peace of heart.

 

I write this so that its readers would acknowledge that anxiety is a condition of living, one, which we cannot avoid, one that we must deal with.  However, many people are often scared to experience anxiety.  When they experience this, they suddenly just put up their defensive selves and do everything to shut their senses because they do not want to bear the uncanny feeling that anxiety gives.  Thus, they rob themselves of the essential part of their existence, again, anxiety. 

 

We all have our defense mechanisms when we are dealing with anxiety.  We have formed these defense mechanisms either unconsciously or consciously.  Unconscious defense mechanisms are the automatic responses we do when faced with a certain situation.  These are the deeply seated and imbedded practices in our subconscious.  Thus, when faced with a problem, one might simply keep quiet as he tries to figure out the solution to his problem by himself.  Or when somebody feels happy, for example, he might unconsciously be treating the people around him with some sort of a happy spree.  These defense mechanisms fall into the unconscious when a person doing it is not aware that such mechanisms are his auto-response.  The other kinds, conscious defense mechanisms, are what one has consciously learned based on experience, ones, which are chosen carefully through discernment.  Thus, if a person who is faced with a problem has suddenly become aware that whenever he is sad he becomes quiet and people notice such behavior, he may consciously choose to act naturally okay so that others will not see he is having some problems.  Or if a person who feels happy has suddenly become aware that whenever he is happy, he treats other people with some sort of a happy spree, he then restrains himself to do so because he has become aware and he acknowledges that his response may not be appropriate or healthy both for himself and others.  So instead of a spree, he may simply choose to just acknowledge his feelings and not do anything grandiose in relation to such feelings.

 

The challenge for most of us is that we do not know how and when we react accordingly.  I have spoken to friends and acquaintances about how I have observed them to have shown obvious defense mechanisms.  Many of them are oblivious about it, some are just in plain denial (another defense mechanism).  They know it but they just do not want to admit it to themselves.  They are the kind of people who are observed to repeat their old mistakes and revert to their old habits.  It is either because they are not aware or they refuse to be aware of their reactions.  Eventually, they form these habits and the longer they refuse to be aware of their unhealthy habits; the longer they suffer from cycle of failures.

 

The harder habit to break is that what we have unconsciously formed ourselves.  The hardest habit to break, to add, is that what we have consciously formed.  It is harder to wake a person if he is pretending to be asleep.  Change, no matter how big, starts from acknowledgment.  Unless we acknowledge the need for it, we will not change.  Self-awareness and acknowledgment are the keys.

 

Much more is asked from a teacher.  Everyday is an opportunity not just to teach but be taught.  Teaching moments for teachers are everywhere, from inside the classroom, to the hallway, to the faculty room, even to the malls, or someplace else for hanging out.  A teachers’ credibility to teach is only to the extent of what he practices.  Thou shalt practice what thy preach. 

 

Preparing lesson plans pertaining to academic lessons is not nearly as hard as preparing for my lessons, which have something to do with values formation.  While it is easy to master the aspects of grammar and literature (I teach English, by the way) it is always challenging to talk to students in terms of character because it forces you to first reflect the values in your self.  It may sound idealistic but if you cannot do it, you cannot teach it.  One most basic example are the teachers (and even some adults) who tell their students to not use impolite expressions.  The “F” word for instance, how many teachers say this word when students are not around?  I can only hope that there is none.  Otherwise, teachers who use this expression DO NOT have the right to tell their students to not use them.  Sometimes, some teachers also hide in the guise of being an adult as if being such has given them the right to do so.  But is being an adult more of not an excuse to use these expressions?  The students should actually be given more leniency than the adults because students still need guidance.  Adults, however, are expected to become more responsible.  I am not saying that we should be devoid of mistakes but to come up with an excuse and not acknowledge our mistakes is another story. 

(To be continued.)