(Agreement #2)
The primary underlying principle in agreement #1 is paradigm shift and it is a necessary prerequisite to agreement #2 – do not take things personally. Earlier, I’ve cited examples that show how the ideal of a new teacher can be easily clouded by the new culture it becomes a part of. We all know how easy it is to be swayed by those who surround us because all of us want to belong. For sure, nobody wants to be left alone in one corner with his or her ideals. Not all of us are that strong. Sooner or later, once we have become a part of a culture, we eventually adjust and adapt to it. So if you become a part of a competitive culture, chances are you’ll carry the same competitiveness when you enter another culture and it will take time before you dismantle your previous learning. On the other hand, if you become a part of a cooperative culture, chances are you’ll carry the same cooperativeness when you walk out of it. Sad to say, if you enter a culture that is pessimistic, even if you come from a culture of support and respect, you are still faced with a lot of challenges. Again, not all of us last long even if we, teachers are taught with ideals. The big question in this agreement is this – how much more our young students? If we are adults and yet still be challenged by the real world in choosing between what’s right and what’s wrong, how much more are these young minds? When I was growing up as a student, I had heard teachers say, “Di na kayo nahiya sa akin! Teacher ninyo ako!” (Don’t you feel a bit ashamed! I’m your teacher!) or “Hindi niyo ba ako mahal? Adviser niyo pa man din ako…” (Don’t you love me? It’s the least I expect for being your adviser). Some of my teachers would go on with their never ending litany to the point that the only take-away we could go home that day was not even close to values education. Fortunately for my teachers, it worked for me but not for my classmates. I bought into their guilt-inducing strategies but not the others. Now here’s the thing, since my teacher took it personally, I learned to take my classmates’ behavior personally too. I thought they didn’t like my teacher and they were naturally disrespectful. I saw them on the lens my teacher saw them from. It wasn’t until I was already in college that I fully understood that we are just high school. It was part of our development. We were simply being high school. Now, as I recall these high school moments in connection to these agreements, all I could think of was this: it wasn’t because my classmates were naturally rambunctious. It was just that my teacher didn’t know how to be professional about it and my classmates unintentionally saw it. She wasn’t able to command respect from them on a professional level. In the classroom, most especially with high school students, the teacher can’t take things said personally even if they are personal. A skilled and competent teacher must know how to deal with these kinds of circumstances because he or she should have been trained and prepared for this kind of situation. Do not take things personally because in the classroom, you are a professional no matter what the case maybe. The essence of your job depends on your professional skills as a teacher. Students may open up with you on a personal level by telling you about their problems at home and other personal matters but even so, as a professional, you are expected to encounter this kind of situation. Not to be misguided however, we are not suggesting that a teacher should be impersonal and distant. Warmth and caring are just two of the most important traits a teacher should have. But above all this, a teacher must understand that he or she is first and foremost a professional. As teacher Joy puts it, “You should have no personal opinions, only professional ones.” When you personally react to a perceived personal comment of a student, it makes you less professional. In one workshop that I conducted, a male high school student called me with a bad word. My first instinct would have been to react and get right back at him with his own lingo to give him a taste of his own medicine. Yes, I felt that my ego was bruised. Thankfully though, I instinctively reacted differently. I said to myself that students like him are the very reasons why there should be professional teachers. I simply inhaled and exhaled and said, “Is that what you think?” He said, “Yes! Because you’re singling me out! I wasn’t stomping my feet!” (The whole class, however, knew it was he.) I quickly replied, “If that’s what you think, you’re entitled to it. Meanwhile, sit down and join your classmates when you’ve mellowed down.” I said those words with conviction and composure with my chin up and head high. I never gave him another chance to speak and I ignored his mumblings on the side. The class went on to its class activity and everything was back to normal and he felt awkward because he was the only one sitting down. (This student and I are now in good terms. He apologized to me and I to him and we separated ways on a healthy note.) In one instance, when teacher Joy threw the same scenario to a teacher in MI, the teacher simply said, “I understand you’re angry but we don’t allow that kind of word here in MI. Sit down and I’ll talk to you after class.” – simple, straightforward, no drama, that’s how a trained professional teacher should deal with it and not by a long list of litany and guilt-inducing strategies that are often disgusting and unproductive. (To be continued.)
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