Where to Go From Here?
It took me quite some time to wrap up this topic. One probably would just merely identify the other side of the optimist as that of his being a pessimist just like with the two sides of the coin - head or tail. On a deeper perspective, however, one would find that the other side of the optimist could be that of what has become of him as he embraces mostly the personality ethic without the strong foundation of character ethic.
A few years back, a student of mine gave me a video. It was "The Secret" written by Rhonda Byrne. When I watched it, I was moved with the testimonials of the persons who attributed their success to the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction. According to this theory, the mind attracts what it thinks. Thus, when you think of positive things, you will attract positive things. It added that the clearer you see what you want, the easier it will be for you to get it. I was amused, impressed, and even inspired by this yet another psychology technique that would alter your thinking and lead you to your success. I tried practicing it for quite sometime - seeing people that annoy me under a different kind of light so they would become more likable; reframing my perspective so that a negative situation around me would seem wonderfully okay; psyching myself to believe that I look good and that I feel good so that I would exude positive energy. As I interacted with difficult people, and hard situations, or whenever I was feeling down, I noticed that the world seemed brighter - at least inside my head.
On another note, however, I have witnessed how some people abuse this principle like it was drugs - they don't realize they've become addicted to it to the point that they shut themselves out from reality; worse, they use the other similar principles to manipulate other people into looking the other way so that they could get what they want without being noticed; worst, they intentionally take advantage of this optimism strategy.
I noticed these optimists to be selective - focusing only on the positive things (and when I say only, I mean ONLY). At some level, they denied themselves of the reality of the present and it observably weakened their senses. Noticeably, it blurred their eyesight, deafened their ears, and it made them fake human interaction and people they interact with notice the lack of sincerity. They cast off negativity as if anything negative would disrupt their balance and so they left no room for it. Their positive confirmation bias became so strong that with the mention of any negative statement, their eyes would roll and they would suddenly try to redirect their thoughts and language (even those of others') just to make sure that they are positive.
I have also encountered motivational speakers who take advantage of this popular psychology by advising their employees to think positive instead of noticing not just the flaws of the organization but also its wrongdoing. I have heard employees inquire about their employment terms and conditions and instead of giving a direct answer, these employers know how to make their employees think positive, be thankful, and have a sense of gratitude. The employer, having smoke-screened the situation, would get his or her way. The employee, on another hand, would either just look the other way around or wonder what just happened. The organization, unfortunately,
And yes, worst would be that some of them intentionally use this as a manipulative technique.
Poser-sitive Optimist
I have also met some so-called leadership and management gurus. For some of them, I would be all hands up for their words translate into practice, but for MOST of them, lip service is the name of the game. Most of them have mastered the art of PR and human relations technique, and get their way by taking advantage of others. They would preach about good management practices and how leadership is an integral part of running an organization. Virtues such as integrity, honesty, sincerity, etc. would seem to be their line of expertise. A closer look however would the opposite. In my recent FB post, (https://www.facebook.com/june.hebrew) I narrated how this lordy-lordy guy preached in his organization about the value of leadership and management, and even about sincere human relationship. He would appear as a father image to his employees as he gave them pieces of advice about work ethics and life in general. The sad truth was each time the same employees leave the organization, they would wonder "How the hell did I believe that guy?"
He also had in his direct employ less than 10 employees which he hired on a job-contract only basis even if these employees deserved to be regularized. Most of these employees served the company for more than 4 years yet they didn't even see a single contribution in their SSS, or Phil Health. The reason? - they are contractors. Even if they should not be merely as such. He was good with the use of his words saying that most people don't get anything anyway from SSS and Phil Health contributions so they might as well become contractors. The employees, charmed by his rhetoric would just agree with him. If you look closely enough however, you would find out that he just didn't want to bear the responsibility of having to regularize these people for the fear that his people might demand benefits. (His organization by the way earns millions and millions of pesos with the help of at least two marketing staff who never got a raise in their contract fee and even got lesser and lesser commission.) Just like The Secret, he subscribed to positive thinking techniques telling his people to have a sense of gratitude, develop positive thinking, instead of questioning the unethical practices of his organization. He also subscribed to PR, and advertising making sure positive things about his organization was heard. He would tell his audience in his talks his vision for the country and the audience who didn't know how he ran his backyard would look at him in awe as if a lord has come down from the heavens.
Recently, a colleague of mine received an email from his boss. It went something to this effect - "I really appreciate your openness. Thank you for agreeing to the terms of payment." My colleague was stunned. He never agreed to any terms. The terms offered was lower than his usual rate. When we spoke to each other, we knew how some people would take advantage of their knowledge in psychology to take advantage of others. He decided to accept out of respect. After this, I wondered whether such respect to the boss would stay. Manipulative psychology - starting with a positive note (I appreciate…) to prime the recipient and sneakily transitioning to the real intent (lower terms of payment).
Has the use of positive psychology gone too far in these instances?
Sometimes the optimist has a dark side. The optimist would use his words and charm to appeal to someone who is vulnerable in thinking and feeling. The other side of the optimist is dangerous. He could be an expert in cult indoctrination and before you know it you have been forced to swallow, without you knowing it, the bitter pill disguised by the sweetness of his words. He will throw you quotations - "Do not work for money, work to improve yourself", "Do not ask what the organization can do for you, ask what you can do for the organization (sounds plagiarized?)", "Work with cheer and money follows" and he won't run out of them. The truth is it's easier for him to say those because after all he has the money.
It is not bad to optimistic. After all, hope is all we have left in this ever unsure changing world; but with this, let us all be reminded, if it's too good to be true, it can't be that good.
Acta non verba. Actions, not words, are the true measure of intent.
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